2008 Academy Awards Speed Ratings

Once again, the Academy Awards have come and gone. This year I found myself strangely uninterested in the proceedings, not having seen any of the movies nominated for any of the major awards. But doing a speed rating of the awards show is a tradition around here, so here we go again. As always, it's a speed rating, so it's heavy on immediate reaction, very light on analysis.

The Intro: Hmm. Oscar intros tend to be somewhat odd, and this one featured an appearance by Ben Affleck of all people? Bad.

Jon's Monologue: Not too political, lots of Good jokes (especially the Hilary Clinton joke and Dennis Hopper's current location).

George Clooney introduces the first retrospective: They always have too many of these. Bad.

Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway: He was funny, she had a nice, classy dress. Good.

Ratatouille wins Animated Feature: And Shrek 3 wasn't even nominated. Too Bad no one can spell Ratatouille.

Jon starts to sing the first nominated song: That was funny. Good.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones reminisce: Fun Fact. She was in grade school when he won his first Oscar, and barely out of high school when he won his second. At least looks Good for being well over 60, though.

What goes on during ads? According to Jon, they make fun of what we at home are wearing. Good joke.

The winner for art direction: She looked like a gelfling from The Dark Crystal. You know that counts as Ugly.

Javier Bardem drops into Spanish: Now we have no idea what he said to his mom. But Good of him to remember her.

Fake Oscar Salutes: Binoculars and Periscopes? Bad Dreams? It's funny, but in a Bad way because it's all too true.

Tilda Swinton looks like a dude: And her dress looks like it was made from an Ugly black garbage bag.

Jessica Alba parties with the nerds: Ooh, Eastman Kodak won an award. Some year it might be a Good idea to have someone other than a so-hot-right-now actress host it, just to see if anyone shows up.

Josh Brolin and James McAvoy do movie quotes: Okay, that was funny. Good.

How the voting works: And here I thought they just checked looked for an excuse to just give them all to Jack Nicholson. Bad.

Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill as Judy Dench and Halle Berry: Or is that as Halle Berry and Judy Dench? Good, in any case.

Marion Cotillard wins Best Actress: Huh. Not Julie Christie or Ellen Paige. Too Bad.

Wii Tennis on the Giant Screen: So that's what really goes on during the commercials. Good thing they didn't do it for long, Jon would have lost pretty hard.

All 79 Best Picture Winners: Because there hasn't been enough retrospectives to this point. FYI, I've seen 23 of them, Laura 17. That's pretty Good, I think.

Nicole Kidman: Nice dress, crazy long Bad necklace.

Robert Boyle wins an honourary Oscar: Dude looks Good for 98.

"Falling Slowly" wins best song: Nice to see a tiny indie film win a significant award. Good for them.

Jon brings Markéta Irglová out to say her thanks: What a classy move. Jon is getting Good at this hosting gig.

Best Documentary Short presented by soldiers in Iraq via satellite: That was different. Different is Good.

Harrison Ford looks tired: But at least he's not a car dealership. Bad.

Diablo Cody wins Best Original Screenplay: Was her Ugly dress by the Flintstones?

Helen Mirren: What's with the crazy arm bling? Bad.

Daniel Day Lewis wins Best Actor: He's a bit odd, isn't he? And his wife had a very Bad dress, too.

Coens win Best Director: Meh. No shock there. Too Bad, I would have liked to see Sarah Polley win it.

No Country For Old Men wins Best Picture: I don't think the Coens even bothered going back to their seats. It really was their night. Good for them, I guess.

Final thoughts: Jon is a good host, they kept the show moving, and it didn't feel ridiculously long, even with too many retrospectives. And they only cut to Jack Nicholson three or four times, which is way down from last year.