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Unless you've been avoiding all manner of news media for the last year or two, you've surely heard of phishing. It's hardly a new phenomenon, but it has become more common and is one that the press has latched onto recently. Of course, it's only one of many fraudulent schemes of which to be wary. Some are stupid and largely harmless, such as those emails claiming that some large company will donate money every time the email is forwarded. Others are serious and potentially dangerous, like the Nigerian 419. There are laws against such scams. But there are scams which all of us encounter all the time which are perfectly legal. These products and ideas are massive scams, but hardly anyone realizes it.
Mail-in rebates — You open the glossy colour flyer from a major electronics retailer, and there on the front page is a product that you've been wanting to purchase. Low and behold, it's on sale. Enough waiting, it's time to buy. But when you go to the store and the marginally helpful sales guy takes you to the counter to ring in the supposed sale item, it's full price.
"That's on sale for $20 off, it's in the flyer," you point out, assuming it's an error in the computer.
"Actually, sir, it's not on sale, there's a $20 mail-in rebate. See, it says so in the flyer."
And there it is in the flyer, in ridiculously fine print below the 'sale' price. You're annoyed, but you've already got your credit card out, and you do want the product, and you're going to get that money back later, about six to eight weeks after you send in the rebate form. The clerk is sure to give you the form, and tells you to make sure to include a photocopy of the receipt and the UPC symbol off the box. Home you go, product in hand and rebate info ready. But you don't get around to filling in that form, much less mailing it with the correct supporting documents. Or maybe you do and the money never comes, and it slips from the mind to call the company and enquire.
Fact is, almost all manufacturers are generally quite willing to pay out the rebates, so long as the correct info is sent to the correct address within the correct window. But they know that only so many people will actually bother. For amounts under $20, many people won't. For amounts under $10, hardly anyone does. Even for $50 and $100 rebates a significant number of people won't actually send in the form. It's a brilliant scam, and one that unfortunately will probably be with us until people start complaining to the stores and the manufacturers.
Lobster — For starters, this aquatic scavenger is not red when alive. It's typically a dark green. The shell turns red when the lobster is boiled alive. But that's not why lobster is such a scam. And it's not the fact that these crustaceans are a really rather expensive meal. No, lobster is a scam because eating lobster is basically an excuse to wear a bib and eat melted butter.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But lobster is just so tasty and delicious and it's a delicacy, but okay, you're probably right about the bib." Of course I'm right about the bib. Lobster is about the only food that necessitates protective clothing. Right there you should have some clue that something is amiss. If you are going to make that much of a mess that you need a layer of plastic to preserve your garment, well, maybe this is not meant to be eaten, at least not whole in the shell. Ripping apart a one pound animal to extract its flesh is a messy process. After all, how many complex life forms can be ordered whole, multi-segmented exoskeleton and all, at a four star restaurant?
But the main reason lobster is a scam is the fact that it really doesn't have a lot of taste. Anything that people dunk in melted butter while eating obviously can't have all that much taste. You don't go dunking top sirloin in butter, do you? If you really want to eat melted butter, you don't need to spend $35 and wear a bib to do it. Toast should do the trick just fine.
Special K — Companies will often market the same product to different people in different ways. For example, Honda markets the Civic as both a compact family sedan, an affordable car for the masses, and as the platform of choice for the street racing/modding crowd. That's smart marketing. Of course, Honda sells the same Civic to everyone who wants to buy one, and depending on options and promotions, at the same basic price.
If Honda sold the same basic Civic at wildly different prices to different people, that would be wrong. But Kellogg's has been doing essentially the same thing for years, and no one seems to complain. Surely I can't be the only person who has noticed that Rice Krispies and Special K are the same cereal? The only difference is that Rice Krispies are more round, and Special K is more flat. Check the nutritional info if you don't believe me — it's nearly identical, only Special K has added iron and calcium, and a little less sodium. I suspect that the individual Rice Krispies that aren't round enough to mass muster end up as Special K. Or perhaps they use rice that's more flat to start with. The end result is a cereal which tastes just like Rice Krispies, but costs twice as much and lacks mascots. Of course, when you are marketing what is essentially a kiddie cereal to weight conscious women, an ADHD-afflicted bandleader and his personality-lacking posse really won't be of any help.
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