Stuff My Kids Have Said, Volume One

We’re probably all familiar with one of the incarnations of Kids Say the Darndest Things. It’s a rather contrived show, but it is true that children says some interesting, outlandish, and frankly inexplicable things. But also amusing things. At least my children do, and I’ve kept track of some of the best comments they have made. Everything below is a statement one of my children have made, quoted verbatim, along with their age and the context.

Kids, I’m sorry for this in advance.

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Motives and murder

Read 2 Samuel 3: 17-31 to start

This evening we’re going to be looking at an Old Testament character with a dark history. I could spend the entire time reading verses where he is mentioned and where his actions are described, both positive and seriously negative, but for the sake of time I’ll try to only read short sections as applicable.

The person I would like to look at is Joab. An Israelite general, specifically the commander of David’s army, and a competent, brave, and successful leader, we see Joab time and time again in the books of 1 Chronicles and 2 Samuel in particular. One of three sons of David’s sister Zeruiah, Joab was a valiant leader. He led the capture of Jerusalem from the Jebusites, and conducted a number of successful military campaigns against hostile foreign neighbours. He also provided good advice to David on a number of occasions, such as in dealing with Absalom, and in the census of the people in 2 Samuel chapter 24. But as we saw a moment ago, Joab was also a murderer, and it is that aspect of the man that I would like to consider this evening. There are four specific accounts of murders that Joab committed, with four different motives, and we are going to look at each of those this evening.

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