Even More Tacky Christmas Songs

Almost a week ago I posted a rating of tacky Christmas songs. Then yesterday I posted a rating of more tacky Christmas songs. And guess what, I had so much content that I'm doing a part three. Okay, that's not terribly creative, but it's hardly the first time I've taken a mediocre idea and run it into the ground. Check out my rating of months in the archives if you don't believe me. But enough about that. It's time for Even More Tacky Christmas Songs.

"Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All?" by Band Aid: While this was the first ever big name benefit song, as far as songs go it's not so special. It's a big mishmash of musical styles and the result is a song that has several parts that feel very disjointed. It's rather obvious that it was put together way too fast and with too many musicians clamoring to get at the mixing board. So while the idea of a big name benefit song was good, and inspired others, the song itself is pretty Bad.

"Little Saint Nick" by the Beach Boys: Don't get me wrong, I like the Beach Boys. But they basically only wrote five songs — "Sloop John B," "Be True To Your School," "Generic Beach Song," "Generic Girl Song" and "Generic Car Song." Sometimes they would mix two of the latter together to come up with stuff like "Surf City" but you get the idea. "Little Saint Nick" is such a blatantly obvious self plagiarism of "Little Deuce Coupe" that it's frankly very Ugly.

"Christmas at Ground Zero" by Weird Al Yankovic: In the words of John Cleese, and now for something completely different. We all know Weird Al for his parodies and his polkas, but he's really at his best when he's doing original material. When he doesn't have to work within a designated framework he really lets loose. "Christmas at Ground Zero" is a classic example of this. It's so far over the top that, well, we're not even sure the top is still visible from where the song is. That make any sense? I should point out that this song will offend some people. And when I say some, I mean a lot. If you don't find the notion of mixing Christmas with nuclear weapons you might want want to download this. It's pretty messed up. But in a Good way.

"Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano: Some people are probably going to be upset that I'm putting an old Christmas stalwart like this in the same category of tackiness with crap like "All I Want for Christmas Is You" and "Ay Ay Ay It's Christmas." Well tough. As much as I love "Feliz Navidad", it's got tacky written all over it in magic marker. For starters, it's fully bilingual. How awful is that? Secondly, the lyrics have a lack of depth that makes Haddaway's "What is Love" seem complex. Finally we have enough repetition that once again I feel inclined to refer to Haddaway (and I have a sudden urge to watch Night at the Roxbury again. All that said, I love this song about as much as one can love an inanimate thing that can't love you back, so of course I'm going to call it Good.