A Cereal Named Regret

Let's get two things out of the way right now. First, I like Shreddies. Once I learned the secret of letting them steep in the milk for a minute or two to soften up the corners and prevent occasional roof-of-mouth gouges, they became one of my favourite breakfast cereals. And second, I like vanilla. Not as much as I like chocolate, mind you, but vanilla is nice. There are few things as good as fresh homemade vanilla ice cream, for example. As far as flavours obtained from flowers go, vanilla is tops. And I have eaten rose-flavoured Turkish delight, so I do have something to compare it to.

With these things established, one might think that I should enjoy Vanilla Shreddies. It only makes sense. So when I saw that Shreddies were on sale for $1.99 a box, but the regular Shreddies were all gone, I grabbed a box of the vanilla ones. FYI, I grabbed a box of the Honey Shreddies as well, but that's another story for another day.

When it came time to open the box, I poured myself a hefty bowlful and dashed on just a little bit of sugar, just like I always do with regular strength Shreddies — that was probably my second mistake. I poured a somewhat smaller bowlful for my son at the same time, added the milk, and we prepared to enjoy our vanilla flavoured cereal.

Have you ever experienced the sensation of unexpected flavour? Perhaps when you take a drink from a glass, expecting it to be water, but it turns out to be flat, room temperature 7-Up? It's not that 7-Up is an offensive flavour, but your mouth is completely unprepared, and as such, the taste is highly unwelcome. Such was my reaction to my first taste of Vanilla Shreddies. They smell great, but the flavour is too intense, and the sugar and milk only serve to augment and amplify. I managed to choke down the first spoonful without spraying half-chewed whole wheat cereal across the table, but the look on my face obviously revealed that something was seriously amiss.

"They taste wrong," I explained to my wife, who was sitting across the table from me, and was undoubtedly most thankful that I ate that first spoonful instead of spitting it out. But now with a full bowl of unwanted cereal, I was faced with a dilemma, as well as a need to actually eat breakfast. I hate to waste a full bowl of cereal, so I took a second spoonful, now braced for the taste. It wasn't as disturbing as the first, but still, it was wrong. At least now it wasn't an ambush on my mouth. Reluctantly, I finished the bowl.

Incidentally, the kids seem just fine with Vanilla Shreddies, so at least they won't go to waste. But I'll not be buying them again.