Looney Tunes Characters, Part I

I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. When I was a child, some of the most important lessons were learned from watching cartoons. These lessons included learning that a shotgun discharged point blank into the face of a duck will spin his beak around to the back of his head and leave the unfortunate waterfowl annoyed, blackened, but very much alive. Or that holes drawn on wall and floors by rabbits become functional portals to other places. Or that there are a surprising number of anvils hanging around somewhere up above just waiting to fall on unsuspecting folks. And finally, that speech impediments should be enjoyed and celebrated by all.

In case you hadn't figured it out yet, it's time for a speed rating of Looney Tunes characters.

Henry Hawk: He's a young chicken hawk usually seen looking for a chicken to eat, but the problem is, he doesn't know what a chicken looks like. A little guy looking to eat things bigger than him, that's always Good!

Marvin the Martian: He has the ability to come up with some amazing weaponry, an army of walking green feathery monsters, and some beautiful art-deco architecture made of glass and colored plastics on Mars, yet displays the utter inability to use it all effectively. He went over the edge a bit with his pet dog being green, and being too monochromatic just looks Bad!

Pepe Le Peu: A slightly overweight French skunk who stinks to high heaven, and who hits on anything female that looks remotely like his own species. The only thing that could make him more Ugly is a speedo.

Daffy Duck: Psychological problems abound with this lisping, attention seeking, and schizophrenic duck. It brings Ugly images of Woody Allen covered in feathers to mind.

Bugs Bunny: A six foot tall English-speaking rabbit with a penchant for carrots and the finer comforts in life. Scary, but Good.

Wile E. Coyote: The classic underachiever, never succeeding in any of his well planned schemes to just get a good meal. Too Bad for him.

Sylvester: Obsessed stalker with violent tendencies who masks himself as a pleasant house pet just for an opportunity to "See him up close" in regards to Tweety Bird. This is an Ugly situation, and the cat needs help. Somebody call Dr. Doolittle!

Granny: Rich lonely old woman who travels and collects pets: a bulldog, a bird, and a stalker cat. At least she only has one cat, that's pretty Good for a single woman her age.