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Hi. I'm Mike. I know, I know. . . I look familiar. This could be because I have worked several jobs where you were my customer or something like that. Yep, now you remember. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to find someone who will provide the customer service that you expect? Someone who will listen to everything you say, and come up with the exact solution that you're looking for? Well, I have been that person who came up with the solution, and I would like to give you the inside scoop on how that happens, and what goes through an employee's head when you come up to them looking for help.
Are you ready? Good. Then here we go! The following situations are all real, only the names and responses may have been made up.
Setting: Car Dealership — Service Department, Wednesday 9:00 am
Customer: Lexus owner
Scene: The customer is a 'walk in' looking for service; and the service center is packed already with people who are there for their appointments.
Customer: Hi, I drive a Lexus, and I hear that you people will service it. . .
In my head: You people? The hell is that? You got something against the Welsh?
What I say: We sure do! (all smiles) How may I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I'm over my miles and I need an oil change today. . . can you do that for me right now? I need to be out of here by 9:30.
In my head: What, are you blind? Look behind you. . . HOLY CRAP! There are a bunch of people here, and a board full of appointments; dipstick! Of course we can't do an oil change at the drop of a hat! Oooooh! I'm a Lexus owner, treat me like a king; take my car in right away. You have to, it's a Lexus and that makes me important!
What I say: Hmmm, let me check. . . ( I'm gonna hit some keys so it appears that I am really looking) it looks like we're booked up for this morning. May I book an appointment for you so that we can guarantee your car will be done for you?
Customer: (Looking peeved and distressed, like the fate of some big business deal rests on this oil change being done today) I really need to have this done, and I've got a meeting at 9:45. Is there
any way you can get it in now?
In my head: You're right! I'm just stupid! Of course we can get it in, I just needed you to push me!
What I say: (Looking really sorry) Unfortunately no. There are cars in each bay at the moment (they made appointments), and they won't be done for at least 20 minutes yet, and your service would take at least 40 minutes (and besides, there are three people who are waiting and ahead of you).
Customer: Fine, when can you get me in?
In my head: As far away from today as I can without you knowing I'm just trying to piss you off, and at the most inconvenient time. I hope your stocks fail and your business closes. I have no time for people who hate us Welsh.
What I say: (Head tilt to the left and an understanding nod) As soon as possible. (Head tilt to the right, sounding like I just found a perfect time) How does next Wednesday sound? 11:00? It's our first available appointment. . .
Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence. People with money waltz in and expect you to bend over backwards for them. What's more, in the summer you can substitute 'rich Lexus owner' with 'out-of-town tourist' and the situation works much the same.
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