Taking the Plunge

I remember it all like it was yesterday (unfortunately). I was staying at a friend's place and we had been hanging out in the living room watching TV and drinking way too much pop. I got up to use the washroom. I used what I thought was a frugal amount of t.p. and flushed — and that is where everything went ever so wrong. . .

Now, I grew up in an old farmhouse where the toilet was constantly getting plugged. . . basically you stood up flushed with one hand while grabbing the plunger in the other and plunged like crazy until the water went down instead of up. It got so bad that whenever I went to the washroom; be it a friend's house, the mall, any public washroom I would preemptively locate their plunger, just in case, but on this day I was slack and didn't bother to check whether they even owned a plunger.

So there I was standing beside the toilet and watching the water rise, and rise, and rise. I frantically looked around for the plunger but it was no where to be found. Besides which the water was still rising and running out of toilet real estate. Please, please go down, please just this once go down, I pled, but there was nothing that was going to stop the rushing torrent that was about to cascade all over the floor. As I watched the water pour over the top all hopes of getting out of there without mishap were dashed in a million zillion pieces now floating in the rapidly expanding puddle. In a lapse of idiocy I thought about walking out like nothing was wrong, whistling a cheerful tune, but there was just so much water! If only the floor would swallow me up so I wouldn't have to deal with this. I quickly pitched my pride out the window and called to my friend to get in here quick! By now the puddle had achieved lake status, reaching clear to the door.

My friend rushed in and nearly slipped. Luckily she knew where the plunger was. She tossed it to me then grabbed towels to mop up the floor. I thought the incident was over and figured it wasn't so bad, just a bit of water, just a close friend, I can laugh this one off. Then the doorbell rang. I'm still plunging like a mad woman, so Linda goes to the door. It's the neighbours from downstairs — there's a leak — is anything wrong? WRONG?!! WRONG??!! What more could be wrong, all I wanted to do was pee and now I've got water all over the floor, I've had a tremendous workout trying to get the water to stop, my friend had to come in to rescue me. . . and now you have arrived?!! What could possibly be wrong with all that has been going right?!

My friend explained the situation and the neighbours laughed and yes eventually the water did stop and we did get the floor cleaned up. So, let this be a caution to you all, be sure to have your plungers in easy to reach places so that guests don't get caught frantically looking for the floor to swallow them up.