The Dontmindme.com Nasty or Nice Gift Guide

Socks — Well, we all need socks, especially if your dryer likes them as an appetizer, so while socks are usually pretty good, the festive ones with blinking Rudolph nose are not quite so useful and they may end up setting your boots on fire, and that's Nasty.

Underwear — If they no longer make superhero or Barbie underwear in your size, you're old enough to pick out your own undies. Having someone else pick your undergarments is weird and Nasty.

Gift Certificates — While sometimes impersonal, a gift certificate does give you the freedom to get whatever you want, usually including some great post-Christmas sales and there's no hassle of returning things in the wrong size and that's Nice.

Appliances — Unless someone specifically said they wanted that ultra-cool toaster, or you know their microwave has been poisoning the atmosphere for years, getting an appliance may give a bad pretence, especially for a female. However, if it has cool buttons and it's loaded with super-cool features, I think it could be Nice.

Slippers — That's one of those gifts that doesn't require much thought. It's like. . . . hey, that person has feet, slippers would be perfect for them. . . because. . . they. . . have feet! Don't state the obvious, that's Nasty.

Tools — I personally would like receiving tools. I'm pretty handy and I'd much rather try to do something myself then pay somebody else to do the same thing. Plus, if you get storm-stayed a hammer and a screwdriver can come in handy in opening all your canned goods, 'cause you'll get bored with a can opener and having options is Nice.

Perfume/cologne — Unless you know exactly what scent someone likes to wear, do the world a favour; there's already enough people walking around with cheap cologne that smells like a combination of cinnamon and paint fumes and it's really Nasty.

Chocolates — Chocolate is always good, unless maybe you're a diabetic, then it's not so good, but they could still use it to give to their non-diabetic visitors, so that's Nice.

Fruitcake — This is wrong! It is not normal for a baked good to withstand long periods of time and never go bad! You should not be able to order any kind of baked good from Sears. It's probably the most unnatural edible item money can buy and just the thought of it is plain Nasty.

DVD/Movies — If it's a recent hit and it's not from the $5 bin at Walmart and contains Russian sub-titles, then a good flick would be Nice.

Books — *see the note about the $5 bin at Walmart above* Also, you probably shouldn't include any self-help books, because if I opened up a gift and it was a copy of How to Pluck Your Unibrow For Dummies, I would be upset and that's just Nasty.

Cash — cash is always good and although you can see the monetary value someone placed on your gift, most people are pleased with free cash and a crisp bill. Plus, buying whatever you want is oh so Nice.

So, whatever you get that special someone on your list this year, just remember, no one wants musical underwear — there should not be any music coming from there, no matter how festive you are