Casual Day Attire Speed Rating

I used to work in a jewellery store where we adopted Casual Day for charity. Being that the clientele and business is a sort of an "uppity" environment we had a strict guideline of what to wear. Jeans, as long as they were clean, not faded, no holes and not skin-tight were acceptable along with a somewhat dressy shirt. No "who's your daddy?" t-shirts or anything like that. And for any customer-driven business, I think that's only appropriate.

I now work in a government building and you would think that being surrounded by assumed professionals who are "running things" that casual day here would hold a similar guideline to any respectable business. Well, if you've worked in government you're already laughing.

This casual day speed rating has been brought to you by the lady who wore sweat pants and a tank top last Friday.

Any pants that have an elasticized waist: Sweat pants, track pants and especially stirrup pants are Bad.

Skin-tight jeans: I'm sorry, do you work here, or on the corner, 'cause that's just Ugly.

Belly shirts: Last time I checked, you weren't Shania Twain. What's worse, this often gets coupled with the skin-tight jeans, so reread that one from "I'm sorry." Ugly.

Anything see-through: You might as well wear your underwear on the outside and call yourself Britney because she's shed her good image for Bad.

Jean skirts: As long as they're long enough to cover your butt when you sit/move/bend over, then, they can be Good.

Sandals: You can only wear sandals if your feet are clean and they don't smell because foot fungus can be Ugly.

T-shirts: If they're a nice material with a suitable collar and don't have an offensive logo they're okay, but if you got it free in a case of beer, don't bother, it's Bad.

Khakis: They can look great with a golf shirt, they seem to be comfortable and not too casual, that's Good.

Socks in sandals: Why? Why bother wearing the sandals if you're gonna wear socks? Just wear normal shoes. Would you wear socks in your sandals going to the beach, playing in the water? No, 'cause that'd be Ugly.

Capris: Okay, let's settle this now. . . they're not really shorts, they're not really pants, and they only look good on certain body types. If you've got one of those bodies and the capri pants don't have a huge leaf/camouflage pattern on them, then, I suppose they're Good.

Tank Tops: if you're a male, don't bother, no matter what it's going to look like an undershirt (aka a wife-beater) and that's plain Bad. If you're female, however, depending on the material and if you're not wearing sweatpants, it can actually look quite Good.

Shorts: If they're clean-cut, a decent length and paired with a nice shirt, then ok, but, don't be pulling out your short-shorts or anything, that's Ugly.

Ball caps: What are you trying to do, keep the glare from the computer monitor out of your eyes, or cover up bed head? Either way, that's really Bad.

Hoodies: Oh, I'm sorry but did you just roll out of 'the hood' or step out of a gangsta movie? Or are you pretending to be the Roots-branded grim reaper? Put your hood down 'cause your choice of clothes is the only thing about you that's Bad.

This one wasn't a typical casual day thing, but I had to endure a 50-something year old lady who was wearing only a sports bra and tights at a workplace fitness class?. . . with everything flailing around I don't know why she thought that was good because the nightmares won't stop and that's Bad.

And last but not least, if you've worn it to bed, don't wear it to work. That's just lazy.