Sandwiches

Editors note: When Marko wrote this he claims he was in a state of sandwich-induced euphoria, and is not usually quite so arrogant and pompous. He just happens to be passionate about sandwiches.

I like sandwiches. Not all sandwiches, mind you, but a considerable variety. As long as the sandwich does not contain eggs, seafood, or bologna, I'll eat it and most likely enjoy it. I've eaten thousands of sandwiches in my life, the majority of which were made by my mom back when I was in grade school. I've made and eaten many hundreds of them since. I've come to realize that there are few things so tasty as a well made sandwich. While I may not be a gourmet chef, I feel that with good, fresh ingredients, and the desire to put a little effort into it, I can make as good as sandwich as almost anyone. I've come up with some excellent sandwich recipes in my day, and I'm going to share a few of these with you now. Prepare to bask in the delight that is one of my sandwiches.

Smoked Meat and Cheddar on a Steak Bun: While steak buns are probably intended for steak, they are excellent for all manner of sandwiches. I prefer them with sesame seeds on top, but that is hardly a necessity. Separate the top and bottom of the bun, and on the bottom lay out two slices of cheddar. On top of this place as much shaved Montreal-style smoked meat as you desire. Squirt some mustard onto the meat. For this type of sandwich I would recommend basic yellow mustard, but some people might prefer dijon. Now take this half of the sandwich and microwave it long enough to make the cheese all melty. The top of the sandwich should have two slices of tomato, some lettuce, a little onion, and if you have it around, a slice of bacon. I recommend keeping some of that McCain ready-crisp precooked bacon around for occasions like making this sandwich. I like my bacon heated separately from the rest of my sandwich, but I'm very particular and demanding about all things sandwichy. Now, put the top of the sandwich unto the bottom, and enjoy. Some people might like cutting it in half before eating, but I think that the steak bun is just the right size to hold without halving it.

Pastrami and Provolone on a Cheddar-Herb Bagel: This sandwich has several ingredients, some of which are vital, and others which are not. The cheddar-herb bagel is absolutely crucial. If your local purveyor of bread and bagel products does not have some sort of cheddar-herb type bagel, then they suck and you need to find a new place to obtain bread. The pastrami is also necessary, since without it, it's not a pastrami sandwich. The provolone, on the other hand, is almost entirely optional, so long as some sort of cheese is used (I went with provolone because as a writer, I couldn't pass up on the opportunity for some easy alliteration). I'd recommend something other than the standard cheddar or mozzarella, but you're the one making the sandwich here. Cut the bagel in half (the best way to do this is to lay it flat on a cutting board, put your hand on top of the bagel to hold it down, slice about halfway through the bagel from the side, then stand it on its side and slice the rest of the way down), and put the cheese and pastrami on it. Add some diced tomato, onion, and green pepper, and on the top of the bagel, a little peppercorn ranch salad dressing. Heat in the microwave for 30 seconds or so, and bam, you have a delicious sandwich. This is one that I would recommend cutting in half for ease of eating.

Peanut Butter and Banana on a Toasted Chocolate Chip Bagel: Now this is actually the sandwich I made before starting this article, and it was very tasty indeed. Slice your bagel and lightly toast it. Meanwhile slice up half of a banana, or the entire banana if you happen to be making two sandwiches. The bagel should be toasted by now, so break out the peanut butter, and this is very important, be sure to spread the peanut butter on both the top and bottom half of the bagel. Now lay banana slices on both bagel halves. Don't overlap the slices, or they'll come sliding out when you go to eat the sandwich. As it is this is a messy sandwich, since you have banana on the top and bottom. This much banana really gives the sandwich added flavour, as does the chocolate chip bagel. One could potentially make this on a plain bagel, but it would lack the personality of chocolate chip.