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Almost everyone I know has a job. And almost every job has
some slack time, when there really isn't much to do. Some jobs have more
slack time than others. Some actually have more slack time than active
time. My job doesn't offer me nearly enough slack time for the following
to be useful, but yours might. So for those times at work when you don't
have much to do, or when you don't feel like being productive, here is
a list of things you can do to "look busy" or just amuse yourself:
1. Cut out the crossword puzzles from the newspaper. Slip them into a
file folder on your desk. You can "work" on your "file"
and you'll even have a genuine perplexed look on your face.
2. Depending on the layout of your office and the direction your computer
monitor faces, you can look up funny jokes on the Internet, print them
and make copies for whatever reason (printing and copying stuff always
looks like you're doing something important).
3. Phone friends at their workplace. Act like it's an important business
phone call. See if your friends catch on and if you can develop a code-talk
to use. This is a good one, you could potentially spend quite a bit of
time on this one.
4. There's some basic preparation for this one: you'll need a watch with
a second hand and tech-support in your building/area. Call your tech-support
help desk and with your best panic voice tell them your computer screen
went blue and a message came up saying "system failure" (or
something similar) and you accidentally selected the OK prompt.
Now, check your watch. Time how fast it takes them to get a techie to
your desk. When they arrive tell them that everything seemed to go back
to normal now. You can do this a few times, stating it must be a recurring
problem before they'll seize your hard drive
5. Think up funny lists like "things you can do to prank people."
6. Ask coworkers a random weird question like "Does anybody know
how long it takes for pencils to catch fire?" A few minutes later,
suspiciously grab your personal belongings and walk out. If your coworkers
asked later what was going on, simply state that you wanted to take your
things out for some fresh air. This should add to your suspiciousness.
7. If you work in retail, it might be fun to try to boost your sales with
weird accessories. "Excuse me ma'am, but I noticed you're buying
the new Kit Kat Chunky, would you like some C batteries to go with that?"
8. Tell a bad joke. When a coworker joins in the fun and tells another,
act genuinely offended and tell them you'd rather not have to listen to
that kind of filth in your office.
9. Report that although you thought you had brought your pet dragon-lizard
in to work that day, you don't see it anywhere on your desk now.
10. Make a suggestion box and tell everyone to submit votes for an employee
of the month. Continue to vote for someone that does not work there. Even
if someone tells you "There's no one named Bob who works here,"
act surprised, then vote for him again next month.
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