Beltware

Reinforcement. No, I'm not talking about things military. I'm talking about bringing up an idea and then reinforcing it by bringing it up again with more information. Or something like that. In the latest edition of Stuff of the Month I use the term beltware. It's the gear you see hanging from people's belts these days — cell phones, pagers, PDAs, and the like. Well, I'm going to rate this various gear, but not just as the gear itself, but as being beltware. How useful this stuff is versus the inconvenience of wearing it on your belt. Got that? No? Well, read along and maybe it will make some sense.

Cellphone: Ah, the ubiquitous cellular phone. A classic example of something that was once a cool status symbol that is now completely unremarkable. Five years ago the Motorola Startac was the coolest piece of 900 dollar beltware on the entire planet (okay, so the term beltware didn't exist back then, but let's ignore that) and today you see homeless guys wanting to upgrade to something newer. The cellphone has become so commonplace that having one on your belt is utterly insignificant, but that's because cellphones are so convenient. People wouldn't buy them by the truckload if they weren't. Being able to call pretty much anyone from anywhere is a Good ability.

Pager: Whereas this was once the item of choice when you absolutely need to be reached, the pager has been largely eclipsed by the cellphone, and with good reason. With a pager you still have to find a phone to actually talk with the person who needs to reach you, something that's not so easy to do when you're on the highway or at the beach. With a cellphone you just answer it and there you go. Sure, you can see what the page is and choose to ignore it, but you can do the same thing with a cellphone that has caller ID. Pagers had their day, but if you still need to carry one, you're probably either a doctor, volunteer fireman, or a drug dealer. Or perhaps you're a drug dealing doctor who volunteers as a fireman. Yeah, I know, that image is rather Bad.

RIM Pager: The pager is dead — long live the pager! Yes, the pager has had a rebirth as a two way messaging device. Now you can receive messages and respond to them on a rig that fits nicely in the palm of your hand. What a novel idea. Now try to write a long message on a keyboard that small. Not so much fun, is it? Now wear this on your belt all day right beside your cellphone, because this doesn't really replace a cellphone, does it? In fact, some cellphones actually do the whole two way messaging thing, making a device that only does that a little superfluous. These things have their own niche market, yes, but if I see the general public walking around with these things on their belts, well, that could get Ugly.

PDA: Imagine a device that only weighs a few ounces, lets you write directly on it to take memos, jot down phone numbers, keep to-do lists, exchange info with coworkers, and even play a few simple games. Does such an item exist? Of course it does. It's called a notepad. You can buy one at any stationery store for maybe five dollars if you want a really nice one. Of course, if that's too low-tech for you you can always buy a Palm or Handspring or an I-paq or a Cassiopeia. You can buy one at any electronics store for maybe five hundred dollars if you want a really nice one. But seriously, is there much of anything you can do with a PDA that you can't do with a little paper notepad, other than play Pacman? Considering that you can rip a page out of the notepad to make a really small paper airplane, I'd say that the notepad has the edge. Me, I'm waiting for an affordable device that acts as a cellphone and PDA in one, preferably with two-way messaging capabilities and a digital camera included. Until then, a PDA would be a Bad idea.

Maglite: Of all the items mentioned thus far, this is the one that would probably be the most annoying to have hanging from your belt. Maybe if you needed to peer into dark corners on a regular basis this would be a handy thing to have, but otherwise, no thank you. A metal flashlight hanging from the belt is rather Ugly.

Two-Way Radio: I'm thinking specifically of the Family Radio Service radios that one can get for well under a hundred bucks for a pair these days. These are nifty and have so many applications. Ideal for parents to keep in touch with their kids, or kids to keep in touch with their friends, or coworkers to keep in touch with each other. I like the Motorolas with the swiveling belt clips myself. The best thing about these is that unlike most of the other communication devices listed above, these do not require a monthly subscription. That's a Good thing.

Multi-Tool: Perhaps these aren't as commonplace as the other items, but these are so handy and are so specifically designed to carry on the belt that I couldn't refrain from mentioning them. Not familiar with multi-tools? Imagine a Swiss army knife on steroids. Or just look at the picture I've posted below. These have all sorts of useful applications. Let's face it — what are you going to need to use more often? A flashlight or pliers? Thought so. I want a multi-tool. How nifty is a tool that can be used to open boxes, cut wires, and in a pinch even interrogate prisoners? Now that I've disturbed you it's time to call this one Good and end it.