Alanis Morissette Album Titles

Last week Alanis Morissette released her long awaited new CD. Now, most people are familiar with Bitter Angry Alanis™; who burst on the scene in 1995 with a fistful of top ten singles and a stack of Grammy nominations. What they don't know is that Alanis actually had two albums out before her supposed "first" album and before that she was on You Can't Do That On Television. I'm sure she wishes everyone had forgotten about her first two albums, but I haven't, and so I'm including them in my rating of Alanis Morissette Album Titles. I should take a brief moment to point out that I do not, nor have I ever owned any Alanis Morissette CDs, and that I'm not rating the albums, but merely the titles. Don't get upset with me if you're a big Alanis fan.

Alanis: This 1991 debut album is comprised of Debbie Gibsonesque pop and was released just time to participate in the slow lingering death of 80s music. It sold 100,000 copies in Canada, and pretty much none elsewhere. As far as I can tell it's been out of print for a while. As far as a title goes, self titled is okay for debut albums, but not remotely creative. Somewhat useful to build artist recognition. I'm going to let this one slide into the Good column, but only barely.

Now Is The Time: Now may be the time, but for what? Is now the time to release an album that only sells half the quantity your previous album did? Is now the time to date Dave Coulier from Full House who happens to be 15 years older than you when you're only 18? Or is perhaps now the time to use a rather Bad album title?

Jagged Little Pill: This was the big album, the breakout album, the 30 odd million copy selling album that made Alanis Morissette a household name. While Jagged Little Pill makes for an interesting title, it doesn't really evoke a pleasant image. Pills are supposed to be round and easily ingestible, and jagged doesn't really mesh with that. Who wants to swallow something jagged? I suppose this is comparable with the concept of a bitter pill to swallow, but at least bitter doesn't rip up your esophagus on the way down, which would be Bad.

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie: Can anyone clear this up for me? Is it supposed that one was an infatuation junkie in the past, but never really was, or perhaps that one is still an infatuation junkie, but is supposedly recovered? For that matter, what exactly is an infatuation junkie? Is it someone who is addicted to being infatuated, and in that case, is there a 12 step program for infatuation addiction? And is the above paragraph every bit as confusing and Ugly as the title in question?

Under Rug Swept: Lucidity? Clarity? Alanis Morissette craves not these things. Names her latest CD as Yoda it would name. Sucked last album did. Suckitude leads to poor sales. Poor sales lead to concern at record label. Concern at label leads to loss of contract. Loss of contract leads to suffering. Sales of last album poor were they. Recover her faltering album sales she must. Do or do not, there is no try. Future bodes not well when path is lit by Bad title.