50 Reasons to Watch The Killer

by Marko Peric

I'm encouraging everyone who reads this site, and who happens to have access to the Canadian cable channel Showcase to watch The Killer tonight (it's on at midnight Eastern time). Now, if you don't live in Canada, or if you don't have access to Showcase, I still think you should watch it, but not necessarily at this time. Sooner would be better. I'm watching the DVD as I write this, with the audio commentary by director John Woo, which contains loads of insights into the mind of the greatest living action director, I should add.

So, to encourage everyone to watch this movie, I'm doing a song parody. Don't worry, I'm not going to record it and sing it to you, I'm just going to do the lyrics. I should probably include a disclaimer here, this movie is every bit as violent as any movie called The Killer should be, perhaps more so. If blood makes you nauseous, this movie isn't for you. There are one hundred and twenty on-screen deaths. That being dealt with, allow me to present:

"Fifty Reasons To Watch The Killer"

(with apologies to Paul Simon)

The movie stars Chow Yun-Fat and features Danny Lee
With also Kenneth Tsang, Kong Chou, and also Sally Yee*
And it's directed by John Woo who does it stylishly
There must be fifty reasons to watch The Killer.

So why else should I watch this move, you may ask
To list all of the reasons would be a lengthy task
There's Mexican standoffs and gunfights from first to last
There must be fifty reasons to watch The Killer.
Fifty reasons to watch The Killer.

There's all kinds of guns, Son
It's set in Hong Kong, Wong
It's over the top, Pop
Just listen to me
Chow Yun-Fat, Matt
What else can you say to that?
It won some awards, Lourdes
So watch this movie.

There's all kinds of guns, Son
It's set in Hong Kong, Wong
It's over the top, Pop
Just listen to me
Chow Yun-Fat, Matt
What else can you say to that?
It won some awards, Lourdes
So watch this movie.

I feel perhaps I haven't fully convinced you still
There's loads of bad guys that the good guys fight and kill
The action is frantic, and shootouts are seriously spectacular
I should mention a few things, John Woo trademarks all
Like doves and mirrors and a showdown in a church (or cathedral)
And although it's an action movie, it's melodramatical
There must be fifty reasons to watch The Killer.
Fifty reasons to watch The Killer.

There's all kinds of guns, Son
It's set in Hong Kong, Wong
It's over the top, Pop
Just listen to me
Chow Yun-Fat, Matt
What else can you say to that?
It won some awards, Lourdes
So watch this movie.

There's all kinds of guns, Son
It's set in Hong Kong, Wong
It's over the top, Pop
Just listen to me
Chow Yun-Fat, Matt
What else can you say to that?
It won some awards, Lourdes
Just watch this movie.

If I haven't convinced you yet, let me add that I first saw this movie three years ago, taped from Showcase actually, but I mis-timed the end of the movie, and missed the last 20 minutes or so. I still thought it was one of the best movies I had ever seen. So in case my lame song parody didn't persuade you, that hopefully will.

Okay, time to sit back and watch the finale. Just watch the movie, okay?

*actually Sally Yeh, but I needed the rhyme.