Ketchup Containers

I like my ketchup. Pretty much only on French fries and hash browns and other similar potato products, I'm not one of those barbarians who likes ketchup on pretty near everything that isn't soup. You know who you are. But yes, I like ketchup. I also refuse to call it catsup, that's just wrong, but I'm getting off topic. This isn't so much about ketchup as it's about how ketchup is served. Being as ketchup is a reasonable facsimile of liquid, it has to come in some sort of container. It's these different methods of serving it that I'm rating.

The Glass Bottle: Easily the most recognizable container for ketchup, this is what springs to mind when someone says "Heinz ketchup." The distinctive shape just says ketchup. It's a cool bottle, at least on a visual level. It looks great on the table, but getting the ketchup out of the bottle can be a downright Herculean task. When the bottle is half empty, getting that precious red fluid out of the bottle and onto your fries is about as easy as getting an operator at AT&T who speaks English as a first language. The bottle looks great, but as a ketchup container, it's seriously Bad.

The Squeeze Bottle: While this isn't as esthetically pleasing as the glass bottle, it's a whole lot easier to get the ketchup out of this. There is no comparison in the ease of ketchup access. With this bottle the elusive red condiment cannot hide from you and your fries. It also holds a lot more ketchup than the glass bottle, so heavy ketchup users like me don't have to buy a new bottle as often, and that's a Good thing.

The Packet: There is a place for these annoying little packets, I'll admit. They are handy for fast food takeout. I was going to say ideal, but they are far from ideal. They are too small for all but the tiniest order of fries, I generally need three for a medium order from Wendy's (oddly enough, a Wendy's Biggie fries is now the medium size. How on Earth is "Biggie" a medium size? It's supposed to be big). Would it kill them to make the packets bigger? They've solved the old problem of being hard to open, why can't they make these things a bit larger? The only thing these have going for them is the illusion of eating astronaut food, which might have been cool when you were eight and still had dreams of going into space. Of course, there isn't a Wendy's in orbit, so why would you need ketchup? And sitting in a space shuttle eating ketchup by itself from a packet would be rather Ugly.

The Pump and the Little White Cups: When these first started appearing in fast food places, I was less than impressed. They pumped out 'chup way too fast to run it directly onto your fries, and getting it from the little white cups unto your fries just wasn't the same as pouring it from a bottle. Then I learned the secret of the pump and the little white cups -- dip your fries. That way you can get as much or as little ketchup as you want on on each and every fry, which is naturally very Good.