Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix

You're probably thinking "Marko has finally snapped." Well, maybe I have, but today I'm ranking the components of Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix. In case you are unfamiliar with said snack mix, it comes in a conveniently resealable yellow bag and is remarkably tasty. Perhaps most interesting, however, is the back of the bag with its pictures and names of the seven different components of the snack mix. Since the good people at General Mills have gone to the trouble of showing us exactly what makes up Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix, I'm going to the trouble of critiquing it. It doesn't hurt that I'm munching on Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix as I write this.

Corn Chex: These are tasty and light, and nicely cheesy. Suitably crunchy as well. Almost strong enough to carry the mix on their own, these are a very welcome component. They are plentiful and Good.

Windowpane Pretzels: No, I didn't make up that name. That is how these cross-checked pretzel squares are described on the bag. They do look somewhat like window panes, so I can't really fault them for that. As it is, cross-checked pretzel squares are an interesting approach to the whole pretzel motif that has long been limited to the standard pretzel shape and the mundane pretzel rod. For that reason alone these are Good.

Round Pretzels: These are simply round O-shaped pretzels. How unexciting. They lack the creative shape of the windowpane pretzels, and in case anyone has forgotten, this is Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix, not Nacho Fiesta Pretzel Snack mix. While these round pretzels aren't offensive, they are redundant. And unnecessary. That's Bad.

Wheat Chex: Do you like Shreddies? These things look a lot like Shreddies, but they aren't as good. They are a rather wheaty bland, in fact. The wheat taste overwhelms the subtle cheesy taste that is so enjoyable on the Corn Chex, leaving you with a flavour that can only be described as "meh." Wheat Chex are Ugly.

Cheerios: In a perfect world, these should carry the snack. After all, these are the only component that General Mills saw fit to put in the title. This is pretty much a simple attempt to sell the snack mix purely on the basis of the Cheerios name. Problem is, Cheerios are a somewhat dull breakfast cereal, and an even duller snack food. They lack the panache to pull this off. And there's a lot of them. Probably not all that much on a weight basis, since Cheerios are incredibly light and tiny, but there are too many of them here. When you eat a snack food not because of the title component, but in spite of it, that's Bad.

Rye Chips: I'm somewhat miffed. These lively rye chips are one of the most interesting factors in Nacho Fiesta Cheerios Snack Mix, but there are hardly any of them in the bag. I had to root through the bag to find any. Perhaps if I were to dump the whole bag out into a bowl I'd find more, but I'm not prepared to do that just yet. While these are excellent, and easily have the most personality of anything in the snack mix, there's just not enough of them. I've found one and a half in this bag so far. I was going to give these a good, but I'm so upset over the dearth of rye chips that I have no choice but to call them Ugly.

Bagel Chips: Everyone's favourite dry, bland quasi-ethnic food has finally attained the status of snack mix component. And you know what? These are darn tasty, especially when you consider they are based on that most unexciting denizen of the deli. Sure, there aren't a lot of them, but enough to be interesting (way more than the rye chips, to be sure), and Good.