The Nintendo Game (non) Cube

It arrives in North America today, and it seemed fitting to rant about it now. I don't have a problem with the fact that Nintendo is launching a successor to the rapidly obsolescing N64, in fact I think it makes good business sense for Nintendo to bring out a new console. If they didn't do this, they would have lost so much market share it wouldn't be funny. As it is game console market share is going to be hard fought with the heavily marketed X-Box already on store shelves (assuming your locate retailer isn't already sold out), and both of Sony's Play Station boxes moving like hotcakes.

Looking at the game market, I don't think there has ever been a more interesting time for gamers. There are three very powerful consoles available now, and two lesser machines (the old Play Station and N64) still out there at dirt cheap prices with lots of available games. The momentum of the market is certainly with Sony — there are 20 million PS2s already out there, and 90 million PS1 systems, and there are far more games available for the Sony platforms (and since the PS2 will play original PS1 games, there's no way Microsoft and Nintendo can hope to catch up), but Microsoft is putting an unprecedented 500 million dollars into promoting the X-Box, and the Game Cube is $100 cheaper and has some really cool features (like easy portability and the ability to hook up to the Game Boy Advance). These factors make predicting the market almost impossible.

I could take some time and discuss the merits of each system and pick winners and losers, but if you look up to the title bar, you'll see that this is specifically about the Game Cube (also I don't care enough to bother doing the research and I don't have plans to buy a game console, I game on my computer, and I just blew my cash on a new video card). I'm ranting about it in particular. While I applaud Nintendo's efforts, I have a couple nits to pick here. First, it's ugly. The X-Box looks cool, what with the big X on the top and the green on black motif has an alien thing going on. The Play Station 2 isn't great esthetically, but put it in the vertical stand and it does at least have the monolith style, which is cool in a rather Kubrickian way (and if you don't understand that reference, tough). Even the old N64 was pretty funky in it's day. The Game Cube is a nondescript rectangular box with a handle.

This brings me to the second point — it's not a cube. I went to Nintendo's site and got the precise dimensions, and it's not even close to being a cube. It's 4.3 inches high, 5.9 inches wide and 6.3 inches deep. Go read the specs if you don't believe me. I also went to Merriam-Webster and got the definition of a cube, which is "the regular solid of six equal square sides." The so called Game Cube is not a cube. Whatever marketing genius decided to name it thus must have failed grade 11 geometry. Even were it a cube it's still not a great name. Of course, the Nintendo Game Rectangular Prism, although more accurate, would be even worse name.

Okay, I've ranted enough, and it's late. Time to end this disjointed missive and go to bed. Or maybe I'll stay up and play a round of Unreal Tournament...