Read John 14:21-31 to start.
At work I have a tendency to put on background music on Spotify, because my family all wanted get the premium version of that, and if I’m going to be paying for it, I’m going to get my money’s worth. This can be very random at times, because I’m picking music every day, and I like to keep it varied. Besides, often I’m away from my desk so lots of it I don’t even hear.
I’m explaining this for a couple of reasons. First, I’m not actively choosing a lot of the music that I might hear at work, much as I wouldn’t be actively choosing what played on the radio. I start it up and let it go. We’ll get to why that is relevant later on. The second reason that I’m mentioning this is because of a line from a song that I heard at work the other day. It’s a song called “Call Me” by Canadian musician Serena Ryder, and the line in question is Nothing to consider, love is not a choice.
Sometimes I hear something and it catches my attention, whether it’s a line in a song, a point in a sermon, a rhyme, or even a clever turn of phrase that someone just said. Sometimes that’s because it’s poignant or profound and I agree wholeheartedly. But then there are other times when I disagree ever so strongly, when my immediate thought is that whatever I just heard is definitely wrong. This was one of those.
The song proclaims that love is not a choice. This is something that the world would have us believe— that love is involuntary, that it is a forced or compelled state of being. That was one line from one song, but I could probably find a hundred more examples without any difficulty at all. Or we could consider any other form of media, whether movies, or television or books, and you would find a very similar message. Or just ask the opinion of random people on the street, and I’m willing to wager that many of them would say that we do not choose love, that it is automatic.
Love is definitely a choice. In fact, love is actively chosen. Full stop. Now, don’t be mistaken, feelings, tendencies, attractions, and desires, those can all be involuntary, and often they are. We don’t necessarily choose any of those. We choose whether or not to act on them, mind you. But none of those is actually love, despite what the world wants you to think.
The world at large has distorted and incorrect ideas about love. This is the case year round, but this month in particular it is hard to miss. In June you hear more pointless platitudes such as “Love is love” probably printed on a rainbow background, which is really about as meaningless as it gets. “Love is love” is not profound, or clever, or anything, really. It says nothing about what love actually is. It’s no more useful than saying that “Five is five” or “chicken is chicken.” By trying to say that you can’t have a narrow definition of love, you end up with no definition at all.
Now, the world may well tell you to choose love, most likely meaning their flawed and warped definition of love. However, choosing love is exactly the right thing to do. You might be expecting to turn to the book of 1 Corinthians to talk about what love actually is, but we’re not going to do that this morning. It’s the choosing that I want to focus on.
I’ve talked about making choices from this pulpit on multiple occasions; it’s one of my go-to sermon topics. That’s because all of us make a lot of choices, and many of those choices can have a profound and lasting impact on our lives, our health, our relationships, and on the people around us. How, what, and why we choose to love, not to mention who, are crucially important. These are not things that we can afford to leave to random chance like a playlist on Spotify.
In the passage from John chapter 14, Christ speaks about what it means to love, and how that is demonstrated. The key item is that a person who loves Christ will keep His commands, this is stated in several ways, and is repeated to make it absolutely clear. There is also the contrapositive statement that he who does not love Christ does not keep His sayings. And to make sure that we understand that this is not just a one-way street, Christ also reminds the disciples that He loves the Father, and that He likewise follows the Father’s commandments. This is the perfect example for us to follow, because we know what the Father asked of the Son.
That command from the Father was larger and more challenging than anything asked of you or me. We have not been asked to leave the glory of Heaven to die for people who deny, disobey, oppose and rebel at every turn. But that is what Christ did for you and for me, because of His love for the Father, and His love for us.
You want to know what love actually looks like? It looks exactly like putting yourself on the line for someone else, someone who has failed repeatedly at doing what is right, and that’s assuming that they have even tried. It looks like putting yourself very much in harm’s way for someone who has hurt you.
And when I say harm’s way, we’re not talking about the remote possibility of some indeterminate harm, but harm that is absolutely guaranteed. Christ signed up for certain death, death that only came after intense physical, mental, and spiritual suffering, which culminated in separation from His Father. Remember, this is the Father whom Christ had communed with daily during His years of ministry. This is the Father who had proclaimed from Heaven “This is my beloved Son” at His baptism and the transfiguration. Separation from the Father may not seem nearly so bad as death, but you and I are not connected to the Father even a tiny fraction of how He was, and is, even on our best days.
To willingly accept this, to move toward it instead of running from it, that is love. That is the grandest of grand gestures, and by this we know that He loves us, because of what He did for us, and what He gave up in order to do it.
I mentioned how Christ emphasized to the disciples that they were to obey His commandments if they loved Him, we see further teaching on this in the next chapter, turn over the page to John 15, we’ll start in at verse (9) As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. (10) If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. (11) These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. (12) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. (13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (14) Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. (15) Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. (16) Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. (17) These things I command you, that ye love one another.
There’s a lot in here, there is the challenge and the foreshadowing that Christ would be soon going to the cross to die, but there is one specific command that the disciples were given in this passage: To love one another, as Christ loved. That’s all. It sounds really simple, but it’s oh so very difficult.
People are not all that loveable far too much of the time. Of course, that’s the world’s definition of loveable. Christ did not require us to be in any way loveable. As it says in Romans chapter 5, verse 8, God commends, or demonstrates, his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. That is the example we are working from. God loved us when were not easy to love, when were far from it. If He loved us when were not lovable, and He tells us to love as He did, why would we think that love would be easy?
What does it mean to choose love in a true and proper sense? It means hard choices. Often it means not doing what you want, not getting what you want, because love is not about fulfilling selfish desires. Often it means that you do the work, not because you expect to get a reward at the end, but because you are serving someone other than yourself.
On a personal level I choose to love my wife every single day. Or at least, I try to. Some days I don’t do it well at all, and on those days, I’m sure that it shows. She can confirm. But when I do well, which I hope is more often than not, then I will do what I can to serve her and make her life in some way better. Maybe that looks like going to the store for groceries when I’d rather relax at home after a long day at work. Maybe that looks like washing the pots and pans when I don’t really feel like it – and I’m going to let you in on the worst kept secret, I never really feel like it.
These are not grand romantic gestures that are obvious displays of love and affection, and to those people here who are in romantic relationships, and the younger folks that may well hope to be in one of those some day, yes, also be sure to do the romantic gestures. Bring the flowers, or teddy bears, or chocolate, or coffee, or whatever it is that your person appreciates. Do that. Spend quality time with them. Listen to them. Appreciate them. But be prepared to do the work, the boring, mundane, perhaps downright unpleasant stuff, the hard stuff, because that is where love is truly expressed and displayed.
That sort of thing is chosen. No one wants to get up and change diapers in the middle of the night, but as a loving parent, you do that. No one wants to mop the bathroom floor, scrub the sinks, clean the toilet, empty the garbage, or any of a hundred unpleasant tasks, but that is often what love looks like.
I’m not saying that every undesirable job that someone does is done because of love. Sometimes it’s done because it’s your turn to do it, or because you’re hoping for a reward, or maybe even out of spite, or but if you love someone, then you should serve them. If you say that you love, but are unwilling to serve, then you don’t really have a good handle on love at all. If you will not choose to obey, choose to serve, choose to love, then you are only going through the motions.
Earlier I talked briefly about passive choices, in particular in regards to my Spotify music playlist. The stakes are quite low with that, really the greatest risk is how many times will I hear Billy Joel today? However, when we are content to say “Whatever,” and let things proceed as they will with no real direction or agency, then we are also making a choice. We are passively choosing to allow whatever outcome should happen. And when that outcome is not one that we like, and really, that happens more often than not, then we have little to no excuse.
If I want to love my wife, I have to actually choose her, because if I do not, then I’m not choosing her, and I’m not loving her. If I want to love my God, then I need to choose Him and His ways. I need to choose to serve Him, and that means I need to do what He has asked of me, and at the very top of that list is taking care of the people around me. I can’t choose God and then reject the people that He loves. That’s foolishness and hypocrisy. I have to actively decide to do that, not passively agree that it’s a good idea and then do nothing.
When it comes to the importance of making real choices, there’s no better scripture passage than we find near the end of the book of Joshua, in chapter 24 (14) Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD. (15) And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.(16) And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the LORD, to serve other gods; (17) For the LORD our God, he it is that brought us up and our fathers out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, and which did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way wherein we went, and among all the people through whom we passed: (18) And the LORD drave out from before us all the people, even the Amorites which dwelt in the land: therefore will we also serve the LORD; for he is our God.
This takes place following the conquest of Canaan, after Joshua had lead the people of Israel for more than two decades. Now he is at the end of his life, and he challenges the people to serve the true God, their God, namely Jehovah. We’re not sure how well the people had been following God to this point, but I have to suspect that it was not entirely perfect, otherwise Joshua would not have called them together in this manner and made such a demand of them.
Joshua had served God faithfully to this point, and he had served the people of Israel as their leader, which I’m sure was a thankless job much of the time. And now, out of concern for their future, he asks them to choose. Choose you this day he says to them, come to a point and make a decision, one way or another. The people enthusiastically respond that they will serve the LORD, for He is their God. In fact, they say “God forbid that we should forsake the LORD.”
If we read the remainder of that passage we would see how Joshua cautioned the people that if they turned from serving God then there would be consequences, and how they repeatedly said that they would serve God. We know, sadly, that while the Israelites may have had good intentions, and while they proclaimed that they would serve God, it did not last. On that day, they had said they would serve the LORD, but you only have to turn over a page or two in your Bible to find yourself in the book of Judges, when every man did that which right in his own eyes. We know how that went, we know how quickly they turned to serving idols, to serving their own desires. They said that they would serve God, but they did not continue to do so.
That account with Joshua was hardly the only time that Israel was faced with this sort of ultimatum. Elijah asked them the same thing at Mount Carmel, to choose between the LORD and Baal. Samuel put the same question to them when they asked for a king, and likewise many of the prophets asked them much the same question. Time and time again they turned from God and to idolatry. It is a sad story punctuated with much pain and suffering.
Joshua had asked them to make a decision on that day, choose you this day. Originally, this was intended in the context of making a permanent choice then and there, but I think we can take a little more from this. It’s crucially important to come to a point where we make a decision, where we proclaim our allegiance. Believer’s baptism is an excellent example of this, a one-time event that demonstrates and displays a choice. That is needful. But it is likewise needful that we choose every single day.
We need to choose to love God today, and tomorrow, and every day after. We need to choose to obey Him, to serve Him, to do what He has commanded. We need to choose to follow the example that Christ showed us. We need to choose to put others ahead of ourselves, to serve them, rather than ourselves, and not as an abstract idea, but by choosing to actually do that, and then doing it.
In the book of Lamentations, we read at chapter 3, verse 22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. God’s mercies are continually renewed, they do not run out. It’s not that God makes a conscious decision every day at 6:30 am that He’s going to let us continue for another 24 hours, He is the LORD, He changes not. But we experience His mercy anew every single day.
If God’s mercies are there for us every single day, why would we not choose daily to follow Him? Why would we not choose to love Him who has first loved us, who has chosen us from before the foundation of the world? And if we would choose our God, our creator, our saviour, then we must also choose the people He loves.
Choose you this day Joshua said. That’s an active choice, not a passive whatever will be sort of choice. I’m not going to demand that you need to wake up every morning and announce “Today I’m going to love the Lord my God with all my heart, and mind and soul, and love my neighbour as myself,” but truly, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. That is the choice we all called to make. Maybe tomorrow I will announce that choice, and then try to live it. Maybe we all should.