Gifts for Geeks (USB Ready)

Not long ago, a man with the ability to fix things was always in demand. There was always something that had to be repaired or adjusted, and if you had skill with a drill or a wrench, everyone wanted you to help them out with projects. But thanks to Bob Vila, Home Depot, and a host of home renovation TV shows, the do-it-yourself attitude that arose over the last decade or so has now firmly ingrained itself into the mainstream mind set. Being a handyman is nothing special these days.
Being technologically skilled is another story, however. With the rise of the personal computer and a host of related products there comes a new need for people with new skills. Because even though all this technology is supposed to work together to make our lives better and easier, more often than not it needs a little coaxing. That's why being a geek is so hot right now.
If you are a geek, and the fact that you're reading this website on a computer right now means that it is indeed possible that you are a geek, you've almost certainly been asked to take a look at someone's computer. And if you aren't a geek, the odds are pretty high that you've asked someone to take a look at your computer. Well, if you fall into the latter category, read on. If you've asked a geek to fix your computer, you owe the geek in your life a Christmas present. Below are some items, all of which can attach to the USB ports on every computer made in the last half decade. Some of these are perfect gift for your geek, while others are some less than perfect. So read the rest of this article before you head over to your local RadioShack to go gift shopping.

Light Up Mouse Pad: Are you familiar with the show Pimp My Ride? If you're not, it involves people having their old cars taken by rapper Xzibit and being all souped up, or to be current, pimped out. Well, now you can pimp your desk with a light up mouse pad. It plugs into the USB port and has a glowing outer edge, so it is vaguely reminiscent of a car with neon ground lights underneath. Why on earth does anyone need something like this? Well, no one does, but if your geek is one of the growing number of computer users who has a transparent PC case with glowing neon cold cathode tubes or one of the other current case mods, he will almost certainly love this mouse pad. For someone who isn't into case modding this would not be a Good choice.

USB Fan: First, a little explanation for all the non-geeks reading this article. USB stands for Universal Serial Bus. It was designed to allow a variety of items to be plugged into a computer, all using one common, hence universal, connection. In addition to data transfer, a USB port provides up to 500 milliamperes of electricity at 5 volts, which can be used to run all sorts of devices. And this is where it gets interesting. When the standard was devised, it was anticipated that people would plug in printers, cameras, mice, networking gear and other similar peripherals. The availability of a low voltage power source, however, allowed for all sorts of other items to be attached, including items that really have no need to be connected to a computer, apart from little convenient voltage. So we have things like a USB powered fan. It's just a little fan with soft plastic blades on a gooseneck, ideal to plug into the side of your notebook and let the weak flow of air cool you on a warm summer day. Weak flow of air is the key here; this is a pretty small fan and it's no substitute for air conditioning. Of course, you can't stuff an air conditioner into notebook bag. So for the geek on the go who might occasional find himself in a warm environment, this is a pretty Good gift.

Notebook Light: Producing light is one of the most basic things you can do with electricity, so it's only natural that a USB powered light was one of the first non-standard USB accessories. You would think that this is because there was a big pent up need for USB lights. The only problem is that there really isn't much demand for USB light at all. It's not that five volts at 500 milliamperes can't produce all that powerful of a light, because done properly that's plenty of power for a small light. The reality is that a light small enough to be run from such a power source has to be a pretty small light, such as a flashlight or a small reading light. Not a terribly useful light source when it has to be tethered to a computer by a rather short cord. And not terribly necessary, since monitors give off a fair amount of light already, enough to see your keyboard unless you are running with a nearly black screen. And pretty much the only way to use a computer with a nearly black screen is to play Doom 3. If you happen to be the sort to play Doom 3 in total darkness, well, you probably don't want a little USB powered light to ruin the ambiance. Ruined ambiance is Bad.

USB Christmas Tree: It's an eight inch tall plastic Christmas tree with fibre optic lights. That's right, it's a Christmas tree to sit on your desk and bring holiday cheer to all around. Tiny fibre-optic-lit holiday cheer. Look, there's no need to mince words on this item. Don't buy this for your geek. Even if you think it's the most darling idea you've ever heard of, your geek is not going to use it. He might plug it in once to see it in operation, because by and large, geek are a curious people. You don't get to know technology if you don't play with it given the slightest opportunity. And to be clear here, play with is generally followed by disassemble. So the odds are good that your gift will end up destroyed then quickly discarded once the sense of mystery is lost. Think of it as having the same progression path as an angsty teenage romance. And as all of us who have watched The O.C. certainly know, angsty teenage romance can get pretty Ugly.