Sometimes when you listen to music, the lyrics are not easy to make out. You are left wondering what precisely did you just hear. And then there are other times, when you can make out exactly what the words say, but you still are left wondering. Not because you didn't hear it, but because it sounds like utter nonsense. In case haven't figured it out yet, this is a Good/Bad/Ugly rating of songs with lyrics that don't make any sense.
"The Look" by Roxette: Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer /
She's a juvenile scam, never was a quitter /
Tasty like a raindrop, she's got the look. Do I really need to say more than that? I do? Okay, then, how about:
Fire in the ice, naked to the T-bone /
Is a lover's disguise, banging on the head drum /
Shaking like a mad bull, she's got the look. Happy now? Does any of that make any sense to anyone? Anyone? I suspect that the ghost of John Lennon would find himself befuddled by the sheer level of nonsense here. I haven't even gotten to my single favourite sequence yet.
She's a miracle man, loving is the ocean /
Kissing is the wet sand, she's got the look. That's right, she's a miracle man. And you thought the Joan Baez version of "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" was a bit gender confused. Here's the thing, though. If you are going to make a nonsense song that sounds catchy, you might as well go all out and make the whole thing to be nonsensical. If that was Roxette's goal here, they certainly did a Good job.
"Good Times Roll" by The Cars: The song starts out innocuously enough. Let the good times roll, let them knock you around. Nothing too absurd here. Let the good times roll, let them make you a clown. Um, okay, if that's an essential component of a good time for you, then sure, I guess, go for it. Let them leave you up in the air, let them brush your rock and roll hair, let the good times roll. Okay, what?! How exactly did you get up in the air in the first place, and why would you be left there? And what in the name of high school football is rock and roll hair? If having folks groom your hair, rock and roll or otherwise, is your idea of a good time, then I'll pass on going to any of your parties. They probably get really Ugly.
"Ventura Highway" by America: Better known for tunes like "Horse with No Name" and "Sister Golden Hair," America was an acoustic pop folk band from the 1970s. They were not known for particularly obtuse lyrics. So when listening to a cheery summer tune like "Ventura Highway" one does not really expect to hear words that don't make any sense. And for the most part, one doesn't, at least until the line Seasons crying no despair / Alligator lizards in the air, in the air. I can handle the part about seasons crying, but airborne alligator lizards — what the heck are alligator lizards anyway? That makes about as much sense as wolverine rabbits or bear cats. And flying reptilian creatures, I think that generally falls under the heading of dragon.
So I went ahead and looked up the song. And what do you know, the alligator lizards referred to cloud shapes. So that actually could make a little sense. But out of context, it's a pretty Bad lyric.
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