Last week Alanis Morissette released her long awaited new CD. Now, most
people are familiar with Bitter
Angry Alanis™; who burst on the scene in 1995 with a fistful of
top ten singles and a stack of Grammy nominations. What they don't know
is that Alanis actually had two albums out before her supposed "first"
album and before that she was on You Can't Do That On Television.
I'm sure she wishes everyone had forgotten about her first two albums,
but I haven't, and so I'm including them in my rating of Alanis Morissette
Album Titles. I should take a brief moment to point out that I do not,
nor have I ever owned any Alanis Morissette CDs, and that I'm not rating
the albums, but merely the titles. Don't get upset with me if you're a
big Alanis fan.
Alanis: This 1991 debut album is comprised
of Debbie Gibsonesque pop and was released just time to participate in
the slow lingering death of 80s music. It sold 100,000 copies in Canada,
and pretty much none elsewhere. As far as I can tell it's been out of
print for a while. As far as a title goes, self titled is okay for debut
albums, but not remotely creative. Somewhat useful to build artist recognition.
I'm going to let this one slide into the Good column, but only
Now Is The Time: Now may be the time, but
for what? Is now the time to release an album that only sells half the
quantity your previous album did? Is now the time to date Dave Coulier
from Full House who happens to be 15 years older than you when
you're only 18? Or is perhaps now the time to use a rather Bad
Jagged Little Pill: This was the big album,
the breakout album, the 30 odd million copy selling album that made Alanis
Morissette a household name. While Jagged Little Pill makes for
an interesting title, it doesn't really evoke a pleasant image. Pills
are supposed to be round and easily ingestible, and jagged doesn't really
mesh with that. Who wants to swallow something jagged? I suppose this
is comparable with the concept of a bitter pill to swallow, but at least
bitter doesn't rip up your esophagus on the way down, which would be Bad.
Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie: Can anyone
clear this up for me? Is it supposed that one was an infatuation junkie
in the past, but never really was, or perhaps that one is still an infatuation
junkie, but is supposedly recovered? For that matter, what exactly is
an infatuation junkie? Is it someone who is addicted to being infatuated,
and in that case, is there a 12 step program for infatuation addiction?
And is the above paragraph every bit as confusing and Ugly as the
title in question?
Under Rug Swept: Lucidity? Clarity? Alanis
Morissette craves not these things. Names her latest CD as Yoda it would
name. Sucked last album did. Suckitude leads to poor sales. Poor sales
lead to concern at record label. Concern at label leads to loss of contract.
Loss of contract leads to suffering. Sales of last album poor were they.
Recover her faltering album sales she must. Do or do not, there is no
try. Future bodes not well when path is lit by Bad title.