Last week week we bought two fantail guppies (we've
named them Cohen and Sandy). They're the first pets we've owned as
a couple, and we're understandably excited about having pets. Now, some
people might say how can one really get all that excited about having
tropical fish? I mean, they're not nearly as interesting as a dog or a
cat. They're not even mammals. Well, you're going to have to keep your
comments to yourself after reading 30 Ways Fish Are Better Than Cats
- A fish will never throw up on your rug.
- Even if you have ten or more fish, no one will call you "the
nutcase with all those fish."
- Keeping several cats or dogs in a small glass box will get you in
trouble with the SPCA.
- Dogs and cats come in various shades and combinations of white, black,
brown and grey. Fish come in any colour you can imagine.
- If a big fish eats a smaller fish it's not that big of a deal.
- Bob Barker doesn't advise you daily to have your fish spayed or neutered.
- You can't have an allergic reaction to a fish unless you eat it.
- A fish can't make loud noises all night and keep you awake.
- Small glass bowl with a fish or two — creative centerpiece.
Same bowl with a dog or cat — horrifying performance art.
- Fish are unable to wreak havoc on lawns, gardens, and flowerbeds.
- Unless you have a piranha and you stick your hand in the tank, your
fish will not bite or scratch you.
- Transporting your dog or cat in a sealed plastic bag is a decidedly
- You don't need to walk your fish.
- A fish will never feel the need to hump anyone's leg. Even if it did,
it can't act on it.
- You don't need to give your fish fresh clean water every day.
- The only way fish food will get scattered all over your floor is if
you drop the container.
- Only the most obsessive clean freak feels the need to bathe their
- Fish owners don't need a pooper scooper.
- You don't need to take your fish to the vet for shots.
- A fish will never eat your slippers.
- The chance your fish will get out and impregnate your neighbour's
fish is infinitesimally small.
- A fish is unable to leave hair all over your sofa.
- The mailman has no cause to be afraid of your fish.
- No one ever feels the need to put one of those stupid sweaters on
- You can't step on your fish's tail without a great deal of effort.
- Have you ever seen a fish stuck up a tree?
- A fish can't get lost.
- No fish will ever sit under your table waiting for scraps.
- Your children will probably not attempt to shave, paint, or put makeup
on your fish.
- When your fish dies, you can unceremoniously flush it down the toilet.