Practical Jokes

by Marko Peric

There appears to be a certain amount of demand out there for good practical jokes. Instead of doing a simple joke of the month I've decided to do a whole feature listing some fun pranks. If this is popular I may make it a semi regular thing.

Disclaimer: Some of these practical jokes could get you into a considerable amount of trouble if you get caught, so don't get caught. If you do, don't say that we told you to do it. Dontmindme.com accepts no responsibility for anything you do. We're just giving you the directions.

Indoor Agriculture

This is a rather complicated prank, but very rewarding. You need to have access to the target's house, and they need to be going away for a while. Get some alfalfa seed from your local garden shop. You won't need a whole lot, maybe a pound or so. Inside your target's house water down the carpet. Get the carpet seriously wet. A nice deep carpet is best. Run some water in the sinks and maybe the tub. You need to keep the air good and humid for maximum effectiveness. Close the windows to keep the moisture in. Turn the heat up a bit, too, you want this to be an ideal growing environment. When the target gets home there should be a nice crop of alfalfa sprouting from their carpet. This stuff grows fast, it will be a pain to clean up.

Nicky Nicky Nine Gallons

Whether you call it ringing and running or nicky nicky nine doors, this is a variant on the old "ring the door bell then run like heck" gag that I'm sure we've all done a few times. This requires a little preparation, though. It's best done if the victim has a nice, big, reasonably water tight garbage can. Get your hands on the garbage can, and fill with water, at least up to the level where you can move the can easily. A full sized can holds a lot of water and is seriously heavy. Now move the can to the target's front door, and prop it leaning against the door. If the victim has a screen door just put the can between the two doors, learning in. The screen should hold it nicely in place. Now do the ringing and running. Victim gets the total surprise of a small tidal wave coming in through front door, and you get a good laugh.

Night of the Forks

Get your hands on some plastic forks, and when I say some, I mean a gross or so. You want a lot of forks. The more the better. The execution is simple. Just jab the forks into the target's lawn, tines down of course. Maybe you want to make creative patterns, or maybe you just want to blanket the lawn with the forks. As I said, the more forks the better. This is best done at night so the victim will open the door in the morning to a lawn covered in gleaming white plastic.