Everything Men Know about Women

by Marko Peric

It's true. Men really don't understand women at all. Our understanding of women is right up there with our understanding of quantum mechanics and Finnegan's Wake [if anyone out there feels like giving me a lesson in quantum mechanics, feel free to email me. If anyone wants to explain Finnegan's Wake to me, two points to consider are that a) I'm an honours English student, and b) I don't really want to know what it means]. Pretty much nonexistent.

I've prepared this list as a resource. What is listed below is a strong guideline of what men know about women. Men, I suggest you memorize this list. It will be worth it. Just keep in mind that there is no rule without exceptions. Women, this is the entirety of what we know about you. If there's anything else you want us to know, please let me know, and I'll see about adding it to the list.
Without further ado, allow me to present:

Everything Men Know About Women

Women like flowers.

Women don't like the movie Ronin.

Even when they ask, even when it's true, no woman wants to be told she looks bad (or fat) in an outfit.